Love More, Hate Less

Lean in for a second, friend. I want to tell you something that I feel should only be whispered. Actually, it probably shouldn’t be said but I’m going to say it because I’m feeling feisty about it.

It makes me out of my mind crazy when women say they are Christian but don’t act like it. Of course, I am likely a horrible offender in this area. “The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak.” (Matt 26:41)

So while I am busy digging the plank out of my own eye, let me tell you what I see around me in recent days. Women who lack grace for others, self-control and basic kindness are posting scripture verses in the Twitter bios.

What?!?

I am SO confused by this. Come on, girls. Aren’t we all on the same team, wanting the best for one another? Or have we become so busy keeping up with the Jones’ and Kardashian’s that we have committed to take out anyone who gets in our way?

I see anger where I wish I saw grace. I see jealousy where I wish I saw celebration. I see lawyers where I wish I saw acceptance. I see bitterness where I wish I saw self-control. I see judgment where I wish I saw understanding. I see hate where I desperately wish I saw love.

I think maybe we have accepted narcissism in our lives as normal. We are always looking out for number one (and number one’s kids, who are also number one. It’s confusing, I know.) Our culture has shifted from ‘If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.’ To ‘If you can’t say anything nice, come sit by me.’

We used to be justice fighters for the weak and oppressed but now we just fight for ourselves and all the things we didn’t get that we feel we deserve. I see women getting angry when someone else gets something they want and no one can celebrate anything. We are trying like hell to shove an ‘i’ in the word ‘team.’

Stop.

The way I see it, we have two choices. We can honor the verse we put in our Twitter bios by being kind, loving, grace-filled, understanding, and seekers of joy. Or, we need to take down those verses until we are ready to handle the responsibility of representing the One who gave up everything to be kind, loving, grace-filled, understanding and full of joy.

If we don’t choose correctly, the reality can be summed up by Jon Bon Jovi: “You give love a bad name.”  Y’all. That’s so bad.

There’s a catch, though. It’s the hardest of hard. But I have SO MUCH FAITH that we can do this. We each have to be willing to be honest about our contribution to the problem. We have to ask the question “Am I living the life my Twitter bio says I am?”

Regardless of the answer it’s time to be BRAVE. If you are living the life your bio says then I urge you to be brave and bold! Get louder! Love harder! The world, and women especially, need you to show us the way. Please don’t be shy, even if you are an introvert. We need your voice!

If you are living something different than your bio, you can be brave still. You can readjust, reset, re-do, re-start and more. God is the God of millions of chances and there is more than enough grace for us all. It’s a never ending supply of free, no-calorie, always in style, zero side effects, and joy-filled grace.

I admit it’s hard. I admit mess-ups happen. But WE CAN DO THIS. Because like Glennon Doyle Melton says, “We can do hard things.”

Yes we can.